Finnish-Chinese couples everywhere

My son Ilkka with Daniel

I have recently found a measure of hope and encouraging examples in several other Finnish-Chinese couples that have successfully overcome the problems of distance and time. In a recent board-gaming weekend my boys were playing with Daniel, a boy of similar age with some distinctly eastern features. It turned our that Daniels father is married to Chinese woman whom he met in Chengsha when studying and working there around year 2000. Now they have been successfully living in Finland for several years.

Another couple I met through my weekly Chinese lessons at Helsinki adult education center. This couple met in Finland in Jyväskylä University where the Chinese woman had been coming for an exchange year in her studies. Their time of challenge was when the woman had to return to China for 1.5 more years to finish her university there. But they lived through it and eventually rejoined and married in Finland. Now the husband is studying more Chinese at the education center. They were both present in the education center Christmas dinner and it was nice to chat with the lady about their story and comparisons to Jinlin. I did notice that I have progressed further in my Chinese language learning than the husband has, but then again in their case the woman spoke quite good English to start with so the need to learn was not so urgent.

Third interesting couple I met at Kalle Mikkolas new-year party in Espoo. Timo and her girlfriend from Guangdong in southern China had met each other already nine years ago. They were a very lively and interesting couple and we had long discussions about character of Chinese people, Chinese culture and Chinese history. She was very happy about my effort in learning Chinese language and gave me lots of nice advice on Chinese woman mentality and how to deal with the occasional "difficult topics" in the discussions with Jinlin.

In particular the Guangdong lady was suggesting more assertive stance on arranging travel and other practicalities: instead of asking Jinlin when it would be suitable for me to come (and not getting clear responses), she suggested me just to choose dates and inform Jinlin that I'm coming then. If those dates are absolutely unsuitable for her, then she will tell me more suitable ones. I guess I should try that, after all my previous visit in December ended up to be decided in almost such a way although more because of my misunderstanding rather than intentional assertiveness. And our agreement on my next trip time has for too long now been "after the Chinese new year" without any specific date or duration despite my occasional inquiries.